And here comes the end of the year again. Time seems to rush uncompromized. Leaving us paralysed… Time to reflect again.
2014 was a common year before an unexpected meeting with a long lost friend. Last met him in 2008 and we met again, unexpected… Sat in a restaurant, just the two of us, chatted over lost years. I sat, mostly quiet, listened to his stories. Before he somehow stopped. He was asking if I’m doing good. I told him a brief story about my lung surgery and convinced him that everything is already alright and I’m all good. He was quiet and said that I’m not good. I didn’t look as happy as I was back in 2008. He told me I changed to a more negative way. He checked about my work? my personal life? my meditation progress? And so on. I insisted I have nothing wrong with me. I have better job, better earning. But is that the parameter of happiness?
Even after the meeting I still could not figure out what’s wrong. I kept thinking. Somehow I felt there’s something wrong with me. Something that I thougt was right, but never felt right. Something that I tried to enjoy so much but I kept failing. And I was still holding on, as I was so afraid of the changes. I kept convincing myself that this is the best… for everyone… and for me… But I was unhappy. I knew that I was not happy.
Reaching some point of the long thinking, I decided to make the changes. I tried to tell myself the worse case caused by the changes and prepared myself for all the consequences.
And so I did it…
It was very tough at first. People around were mad. They are not happy with my decision. I tried to explain. Some of them cannot accept and left. But I was not alone. This was the point when I learnt to find out, what they called “real friend”. They stayed with me and helped me passing through the pain. They are my friends 🙂
And through time, things are now getting better. At least it’s better for now. And when I look back, I feel glad with the changes I made. It made me grow to be a better person. And yeah, I’m now 30. I hope that I do not only grow old but also grow wiser.
And most importantly, I’m happy.
31 Dec 2014
Texting my old friend wishing him a happy new year
Happy New Year everyone…!!!