How long is actually 30 minutes?
It was a 9 days retreat with 3 rules only. Less food, less sleep, less talk. So we can only deal with ourself. Keep mindful all the time.
Then how long do you think is 30 minutes?
I made my own schedule. At least 15 hours meditation a day, 30 minutes in each session. Things seem easy at first, for I’m used to 30 minutes meditation, but through the day, it turned out tough. The body was tired, so as the mind. Felt my forehead beating slow. My legs numb. Where’s the peace? I kept searching, but the mind went wild. A little disctraction raised my temper. This self was uncontrollable. The spirit started to fade, the mind kept exclaiming, “Where is the peace???”.
I’m no longer struggling with my mind, but 30 minutes. It turned out to be a great enemy. What took you so long? You are moving too slow! Are you trying to fool me? Don’t play with me, move on!!! With this young and wild mind, I was lost.
I was tired. Tired with my own mind. So I started to lay down, looking around, BORED. “Yes, I am bored.” my mind said in silence. I decided to give my self a break. I stopped forcing my body to sit straight. I stopped racing with my mind, stopped catching it, stopped blaming even it kept wandering around. I just stopped… in the silence…
I saw people sitting in peace. Looked at the teacher’s statue. Walked around, feeling the fresh air passing through my hair. Stand still and slowly close my eyes. Peace…
It was me. I was too busy to fight with myself. It was me making enemy with the time. 30 minutes is 30 minutes. It’s still, calm and consistent. But me, in my good time, I wished 30 minutes to move slow so I can enjoy just a little bit longer. But in the bad time, I forced 30 minutes to run fast. Sorry, my friend. Thanks for your time 🙂
The Wisdom to accept reality
Reality is not always align with our wish.
We cannot change what had happened, but we can change our wish to align with the reality.
This is what we call the wisdom to accept reality.
The more we are able to accept, less will be the suffer and happines will be easier to gain.
Kristin
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